


What Others See

by ChibiPanda



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Brothers, Everyone but SungSeung are minor, Family, Friendship, Insecurity, Internet Trolls, Minor Angst, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-10 19:37:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18414509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiPanda/pseuds/ChibiPanda
Summary: 'The comment hadn’t affected Jisung at the time. The snarky playful banter was one of Seungmin’s main charms. The complaints about being partnered with the rapper, the statements about running home if they’d had to have held hands, the snarky disses. None of those bothered Jisung. Not when Seungmin had said them, and not after filming had finished. Those words weren’t malicious. In fact, they were filled with affection.'Some comments leave Jisung questioning his friendship with Seungmin. Of course, he doesn't ASK Seungmin about it - no, Jisung couldn't do that.





	What Others See

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this! And that I get my mojo back...it has been a long couple weeks

The comment hadn’t affected Jisung at the time. The snarky playful banter was one of Seungmin’s main charms. The complaints about being partnered with the rapper, the statements about running home if they’d had to have held hands, the snarky disses. None of those bothered Jisung. Not when Seungmin had said them, and not after filming had finished. Those words weren’t malicious. In fact, they were filled with affection.

Seungmin showed how much and how deeply he cared by heckling, pestering, and name-calling. Those were the vocalist’s ways of saying he respected and cared for Jisung. And Jisung knew – even if that method didn’t really make much sense.

Yet here Jisung was, three weeks later, second-guessing himself. He shouldn’t be, but he’d been bored and when Jisung was bored his brain traveled. In this case, the internet helped – comments on their video seemed insistent that Seungmin actually disliked Jisung; barely tolerated him. Some went so far as to say the vocalist hated him. Which wasn’t true. Jisung was sure of that; almost.

He had watched a few videos claiming to have proof of Seungmin’s detest and Jisung could understand that interpretation. He did take it too far sometimes; was too loud, couldn’t understand ‘not now,’ always poked.

“I’m betting you’re going to go waste time in the other room rather than keeping me up again,” Seungmin greeted sarcastically, “Right?”

Jisung quickly paused the video – _well that sounded angry anyway_ – “Yeah...I need to write anyway.”

“Sure…” Seungmin’s voice dipped unusually, “Just don’t stay up too late. I won’t be pleased if your late night fumbling wakes me up.”

“Right...yeah sorry about that. I’ll be careful.” Jisung ducked out missing Seungmin’s response.

Changbin was already curled up on one end of the couch working on something, so Jisung simply joined his hyung and they worked in moderate silence. Felix even appeared briefly, giving snacks.

Surprisingly, Jisung found himself writing easily – temporarily forgetting the opinions he’d read online.

Eventually, Chan returned to the dorms, quietly asking how the duo was doing and quickly sitting between them to read over their new ideas. “I’m glad you guys found inspiration” he stated after a minute, “I wasn’t able to get anything worked out today, too many meetings. But at the rate you guys are going we should have our next three comebacks sorted,” he paused and leaned back into the cushions with a yawn, “I’m glad we’re on a team. Thanks for always working so hard.”

“Not a problem Hyung,” Changbin mumbled through his own yawn.

“You work harder than we do,” Jisung added with a smile; at least Chan seemed immune from resentment or annoyance towards Jisung.

“Yeah right,” Chan yawned again and his eyes glistened lightly, “Alright, it’s three in the morning and I’m saying we need to go to bed. So,” he slapped their thighs gently and stood, “Off to bed we go.”

Jisung nodded along with Changbin, but he had no intention of actually going to bed. However, he still stood and called dibs on the bathroom.

“Oh no, you don’t squirrel boy,” Changbin, as expected, pulled Jisung into a loose headlock, “I’m going second and Chan-hyung is going first.”

Jisung faked a pout but didn’t move and Chan chuckled warmly as he passed them.

Once they were again alone Changbin tightened his hold carefully, “You feeling alright,  Ji? You’ve been quiet all evening.”

Jisung’s chest bloomed with heat, so two definitely cared; maybe Seungmin was the only one...He mentally shook his head, feeling silly for letting comments affect him, “Yeah, just thinking.”

“That’s dangerous for you. We’ll wake up tomorrow and you’ll have written another six songs, cooked breakfast, and somehow managed to burn your fingerprints off –“

“That was once,” Jisung huffed in indignancy, “and I only burnt the fingerprint partially off of a single finger.”

“Right, of course,” Changbin tugged once more, then released hearing the toilet flush, “I’m sorry for the misrepresenting your late night experiences.”

“That’s fine. Apology accepted,” the large sigh was only somewhat complete before his smile broke it.

Changbin playfully shoved Jisung into Chan with a bark of a laugh and sidestepped them.

“Quiet!” Chan admonished wrapping his arms around Jisung in the process. “You two bicker like brothers.”

“Who says we were bickering? We were bantering.”

“Oh yes, very different,” Chan rocked back and forth with Jisung for a few seconds before releasing him, “Make sure you get some sleep tonight, Ji.”

“I will,”

“You say that, but I have doubts.”

“You’re a worrier.”

“I’m allowed to worry. It’s my job as your father,” Chan deepened his voice in a dramatic manner.

“Please stop...just, no.” but Jisung laughed nonetheless. “I will sleep – probably. You know me.”

“Yes and that’s why I worry. You have more sleeping issues than I do.” Chan scowled slightly. 3racha knew about Jisung’s sleeping issues, it came with the long hours in the studio. Chan worked when he should sleep, Jisung’s brain worked when it should sleep; Chan’s was easier to fix. Plus everyone knew Chan’s struggles, only Chan and Changbin really knew the extent of Jisung’s problems. They’d seen it, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“You bunking with us tonight, Ji?” Changbin asked opening the door.

“Nah, I’m gonna chill in the living room for a while, then try and sneak into my room. Probably.”

“Probably?” Changbin repeated skeptically, “You mean definitely, right? Because I don’t want to wake up to you sleeping leaned over the table again.”

“Probably,” Jisung repeated again.

“Whatever,” Changbin huffed.

“Just sleep some Ji,” Chan pushed Changbin into their bedroom, “good night Sungie. I’ve got some chamomile tea stashed behind Felix’s box of cereal in the cupboard, feel free to have some.”

“Sure, night Hyung.”

The bathroom was left brightly lit and warm, Jisung took his time preparing for bed. Normally, he’d creep into his shared bedroom and listen to some music until either sleep took him or the sun rose. Tonight, however, Jisung decided the couch made a bit more sense. The comments were wrong; probably. But Seungmin was a light sleeper and it was possible Jisung had woke him up before, the least he could do was try and respect his members. And maybe, Seungmin’s words weren’t sarcastic all of the time, and if they were genuine some of the time…

Jisung spent another hour writing lyrics to a new song and then decided to try and sleep some. The couch was soft and comfortable, and since he wasn’t too tall, also sized correctly. The living room was brighter – illuminated by the city – and colder than his bedroom would be, but it was well past four-thirty.

Once settled – cocooned in the spare blankets – Jisung once again opened YouTube and searched for videos with the keywords ‘Seungmin’ and ‘members’ first.

Stifling a laugh at the number of videos showing the vocalist’s affection for their maknae.

Then another video caught his eye – ‘Proof Seungmin hates Han.’ the video itself seemed satirical like the one Jisung watched months ago where ‘all’ the members hated him, but the comments seemed to argue. Pointing out things, like the obvious annoyance, the detest when they touched, and Seungmin’s aggravation towards Jisung.

“This is stupid…” he mumbled. It was stupid of course, he’d known Seungmin long enough to know the vocalist didn’t hate him; probably...They wouldn’t have gotten along at all if Seungmin actually hated him. After all, it had taken a lot of effort from both Jisung and Hyunjin to pretend to be friends during the reality show. A lot of effort and a lot of tears, and none of that had been present between himself and Seungmin.

“This is stupid ~ grow up,” Jisung repeated and closed the application. He couldn’t afford to be insecure. Least of all, over something so ridiculous. It would affect things if he wasn’t careful; his relationships with the others, his writing, his performing.

He tried to close his eyes and will the idea to leave. Except that failed and instead by five-fifteen Jisung was again sitting at the table jotting down lyrics in his notebook.

The sun rose while he wrote – unnoticed – and brought with it the others slowly out of their slumber. Which also went generally unnoticed by Jisung who was listening to some yet unnamed beats while he wrote.

A cup of coffee suddenly entered his line of sight and his earbuds were popped out of his ears by a sleepy looking Seungmin.

“When’d you get up?”

“It’s nine Jisung. Did you sleep?”

Jisung noted the other’s words sounded soft, maybe concerned, though it could just be sleep coloring the sounds. More thoughts to dwell on. “Uh, probably.”

“You’re impossi -”

“Good morning~” Woojin greeted brightly accompanied by Jeongin who seemed barely conscious and Felix’s who’s hair resembled a briar patch.

It took Felix about eighteen seconds to latch on to Jisung, “We’ll nap in the sun later.” the Aussie muttered near silently in Jisung’s ear – Felix was always hyper-aware of 3racha’s sleep, or lack thereof, a mother hen to the rappers whenever he felt they needed it. He pulled away after another few seconds mumbling ‘good morning’ to the entire room.

Woojin laughed, “I’m the only morning person in this group.”

“I’m not that bad Hyung.”

 “No, you aren’t Seungminie, but you still seem completely exhausted and ready to collapse any second.”

“I’m not Jisung.” Seungmin responded, offended, “I actually slept in a bed last night.”

“Who needs a bed,” Jisung took a drink of coffee, blended just the way he loved it, and hummed in pleasure, “Sometimes the floor is twice as comfortable. This is amazing by the way – thanks!”

“Whatever,” Seungmin brushed the remark off effortlessly, “Hyung, you making breakfast then?”

“Yeah. It’s my turn,” Woojin was already halfway into the kitchen.

Jeongin and Felix slid into the open chairs, as Woojin started rummaging through the fridge.

Jisung took another long drink of his hot coffee. It did wonders at warming his core and helped him keep his eyes open. On the downside, the caffeine already started affecting his heart – as it always did on an empty stomach – and only increased his brain’s speed

Woojin started whistling softly, almost lulling Jeongin back to sleep against the table. The other three, the September boys, remained silent.

Hyunjin staggered out of the dark hallway ten minutes later, blinking thickly, “Smells good.”

Woojin laughed, “Someone want to wake up the other two?” He asked noting Minho leading Hyunjin to the table.

Jisung stood instantly, already jittery, “Got it!” and quickly darted off.

Both Chan and Changbin were still deep asleep, buried in blankets and breathing softly, and Jisung had trouble deciding who he’d wake up first. In the end, he picked Changbin, slowly crawling onto the bed and snuggling against the older, “Binnie-hyung. Time to wake up~”

Changbin grumbled and shoved Jisung away but still opened his eyes. So the younger scurried over to his next target.

Before the nine started dorming together, Jisung used to wake up Chan often – he loved giving affection as much as he enjoyed getting it. “Channie-hyung~” he called out sweetly crawling onto the leader’s bed.

Chan seemed to have anticipated the attack, quickly encircling Jisung and crushing the younger in a hug, “Good morning Sungie.”

Jisung was thankful for all his brothers, but Chan was the best; though he’d never say it out loud, “Morning.”

“Caffeine already, huh?” Chan squeezed tighter, “I thought we had a rule -”

“I know,” Jisung’s voice was muffled in Chan’s blankets, “but Seungmin offered and Woojin-hyung said he was going to make breakfast.”

“Your heart feels like it's going to explode,” Chan muttered, pulling back enough to place his hand over Jisung’s chest, “I thought we had a rule. You need to have food before caffeine…”

“No caffeine at all,” Changbin had managed to sit up, “he’s already a battery without it.”

“But Seungmin –“

“Is trying to kill you, obviously,” Changbin retorted. It was a joke, but the idea stuck with Jisung.

“Come on,” Chan pulled Jisung up with him, “the others are waiting.”

*~*~*~*

Things continued as usual; practices increased, events began popping up more frequently, and chaos continued.

And Jisung continued to think – a dangerous thing the others often joked – but nothing he did could successfully convince his brain that the comments on the internet were completely wrong. In fact, the more time went on – the more he thought about his interactions with Seungmin – the more correct those comments seemed to be.

Today was slated to be a great day for observation. They had been given a task, getting themselves to the other side of Seoul. But not as a whole, in small groups of two and three. So, Chan divided them as soon as the challenge was announced.

Woojin and Felix, Jeongin and Changbin, Chan with Hyunjin and Minho, and then Seungmin and Jisung. Each group, to increase the challenge, was given between 30,000 won and 60,000 won to pay for transportation. And of course, Jisung and Seungmin ended up unlucky getting the lowest amount. Which meant the bus and walking.

This would be Jisung’s chance to clarify whether or not those commenters were correct. He and Seungmin were stuck together, without outside factors. Without the other members and without cameras. Except things didn’t go as planned.

The bus they’d been taking was hit by an oncoming car, nothing too serious all things considered. At the moment of impact – with roughly an hour until they needed to be at the meeting spot – Jisung had been standing in the center surrounded by others and a few paces away from Seungmin who was able to snag a seat.

The impact had been strong enough to send those in the aisle forward, bodies colliding with each other and the exposed seats. Jisung, who’d been near the short steps leading down to the lower level of the bus, was hit from behind and fell the half meter to the lower floor; arm connecting painfully with the steel railing, ribs ramming into a lower barrier, and head nearly smashing into the back of a seat.

The sharp pain in his chest and dull ache in his shoulder grounded him, as the woman seated a few rows away screamed. Jisung’s first thought was of Seungmin – the eight-day age difference felt like eight years at that moment; Jisung was responsible.

He pulled himself to his feet, struggling to catch his breath, and looked back towards his member. Seungmin’s eyes were wide – shocked – but he didn’t seem to be in pain, “Seungminie? You alright?”

The vocalist’s eyes quickly found Jisung’s own and he nodded, mouthing, “yeah. You?”

Jisung chose not to answer, instead fighting his way back up the short steps. Seungmin hadn’t moved, but the majority of the other passengers were rushing to get off, “Nothing hurts?” Jisung asked after what felt like hours of trying to reach the younger, “Anything hit you? Are you hurt?”

“No.” Seungmin seemed to escape his stupor and quickly stood, “You slammed into –“

“Let’s just get off the bus first Seungminie. We still need to get to the schedule and it wouldn’t be a good idea to be caught on camera,” Jisung reached out and grabbed Seungmin’s hand, ignoring the slight sting, and started to lead their way. “We should call Chan-hyung before he hears about this somehow. And call a cab…I’ll cover whatever we’re short.”

“Ji, I think you should get checked out by a doctor. You slammed into stuff really hard.” Seungmin started pulling back gently as they exited.

The car, which had hit the bus on the driver’s side, was in bad shape. It looked as though it had hit other things before finally slamming into the bus – a fact that probably saved Jisung’s life. The once blue metal was twisted and warped silver in places, glass cracked and scattered.

“Let’s get out of the street.”

“Ji –“

“Well that was fun,” Jisung muttered, noticing the crack in his phone’s screen. Once the two were safely off the street, he dialed Chan. Who didn’t answer. So he tried Minho. Nothing; competition is a bitch. “They’re taking this competition too seriously.” he sent a quick message to Hyunjin instead, to explain the situation.

“Sung. Will you at least sit down so I can look you over?”

The police sirens and the sudden vibrations coming from his phone drew Jisung’s attention, and he missed the question entirely, “Hyung...No. No, we’re fine I think...No. I mean, I know! I got knocked around some, but Minnie’s alright.” Jisung sighed painfully and let Seungmin walk them to an exposed bit of wall to lean against. “No. Yes. I’m fine – no we’re just going to get a cab – no, I’ll pay...no you don’t have to...yeah. Yeah, alright. We’ll find a place to wait.”

“You keep wincing. What hurts Sungie?”

“Don’t worry about it Seungminie,” Jisung smiled briefly, “Alright. Yes, I heard you Channie-hyung. I’ll message the address.”

“Did your ribs get hurt? Is that what it is?”

“Honestly Seungmin, I’m fine. Let’s just find a place to wait for Chan-hyung – he’s coming to pick us up because he is paranoid.”

“God! I hate that!” Seungmin hissed, “You’re obnoxious.”

Jisung froze, mouth still open slightly, “Oh… Okay.” he blinked uncomfortably and pushed off the wall, “I think there’s a coffee shop over there.”

“Excuse me,” a group of four EMTs approached the group of people who’d exited the bus, Seungmin and Jisung included, “You all were involved in the crash correct? Does anyone need medical treatment?”

A few of the people shook their heads, even the teenage boy whose noise only just stopped bleeding while Jisung was on the phone.

“Yes!” Seungmin all but shouted, still frustrated.

“You said you weren’t hurt –“

“My friend needs to be looked over,” Seungmin’s voice lowered as one of the men approached, “I’m worried about his ribs…”

“Wh -”

“Are you able to walk to the ambulance?”

“He should be able to,” Seungmin answered, already maneuvering Jisung towards the nearest vehicle following the EMT.

“Hyung’s waiting for an address, Minnie.”

“He hit his shoulder too, when he fell,” Seungmin helped Jisung into the back of the ambulance as he spoke, pulling out his phone once they were settled.

“Okay, sir –“

“Uh. Han Jisung,”

“Han-shii, I’m going to put some pressure on your ribs, alright? I need to see if they are broken. Let me know if it becomes too painful.”

“I sent Chan-hyung the address of the park.”

“But I told –“ Jisung was cut off as the EMT ran his hands over a tender spot near Jisung’s sternum.

“That’s the spot you hit,” the older man muttered to himself, “Han-shii, I’m going to lift your shirt.”

A flash of mortification ran through Jisung’s mind, it was irrational but he didn’t want to be judged by Seungmin. Not like this anyway.

“You said you weren’t hurt,” Seungmin accused quietly, grimacing at the sight of the bruises hidden behind Jisung’s clothing.

“I’m not,” he wasn’t. It was a few bumps and nothing more.

“Thankfully,” The EMT flashed a reassuring smile to Seungmin, “his ribs are just badly bruised. His shoulder as well. You were lucky kid.” The man lowered Jisung’s shirt again, “You’ll be in some pain – I’d recommend taking something if needed – and here,” he handed Jisung an unopened ace bandage, “If it helps, you can wrap your ribs, gently – you don’t want to cause more discomfort, just add stability.”

“Thank you,” Seungmin responded, already helping Jisung out of the vehicle, “I’ll watch over him.”

Nothing was making sense to Jisung, he supposed a part of that was due to the excitement, his lack of sleep, and probably the mild pain. Or maybe everything actually was making sense and it was simply Jisung’s brain that was struggling to acknowledge it.

“Now sit!” Seungmin placed Jisung on the nearest bench, giving both a clear view of the wreck – though most of it had been cleaned already. “You’re an idiot!”

“What?”

“What if your damned ribs had been broken? Then what? Huh? You’d just lead me around until you pass out? Or moved the wrong way? And what puncture a lung?!”

Something clicked, Jisung realized – in embarrassment – that he’d certainly been stupid, “You were worried.”

“What?!”

“Jisungie! Seungminie!” Chan’s voice pierced through all the other sounds.

“Oh my god, are you alright?!”

“Your message gave me a heart attack Sungie,” Minho stated the second they reached the two September boys, “Are you alright? Seungminie said you were being examined.”

“His ribs are badly bruised,”

“But you’re fine though?” Chan ran a hand through Jisung’s hair as he spoke, eyeing Seungmin carefully. After seeing a nod from the younger boy, Chan carefully helped Jisung to his feet.  

*~*~*~*

Despite the earlier excitement, and minor pain, the group's schedules had gone remarkably well. Jisung and the others had easily been able to keep the days earlier events from fans. And while Changbin, Minho, and Felix had been a bit clingy, Jisung found himself placating them easily.

“Hey…”

Jisung had found laying down, really anything that wasn’t upright, to be painful – so he set up shop sitting on the living room floor to work once the dorms started to settle, “You heading to bed Seungminie?”

“Yeah.” Seungmin sat down slowly – calculating, “You?”

“Maybe,” he paused his scribbling to smile softly, “I’m a bit sore if I’m being honest.”

“Being honest, huh? Like you were earlier?” Seungmin didn’t wait for an answer, “small blessing I guess. What if we added more pillows to your bed, or would solid feel better? I can help you get onto and off of the floor.”

Jisung smiled again and cliched his pen closed to give his friend his full attention, “I’m really okay, you know? But one of those might help.”

“I know you’re okay, but I also know somewhere in your creative head you doubted I was worried earlier, that I cared...which,” Seungmin frowned and quieted.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jisung stretched carefully, “I was stuck for a while, but it got sorted.”

“Okay…” the hesitancy in Seungmin’s words lingered as he continued, “I was worried, just so you know. It was terrifying.”

“Trust me Minnie ~ I believe you. Thoughts got tangled. But I know.”

“If you say so,” Seungmin stood first and helped Jisung, “Now let’s get you comfortable and sleepy.”

“Whatever you say Minnie ~ Love you~”

“Love you too Ji. You idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope someone enjoyed this, I'm not 100% what it is but I wrote it XD


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